Do you remember what it feels like to smile? Was it because of her laughter? Was it because of her voice? For most three hundred and sixty five days of the year, they go by without having any real significance to us. But every once in a while that one day changes you. There will always be that one day that you will remember for the rest of your life. Do you remember what the happiest day of your life was? Was it that Sunday you had off work and everything just seemed so perfect and you felt like you had life figured out, or was it a Friday night where you and all your friends toasted to a brand new beginning? I still remember what my favourite day was like.
They say that your first love never ends. Well for me it might as well have. I fell in love with my best friend and I was only eighteen when it happened. Even till now I still remember what her smile looks like, the way she sits, the way she drinks her coffee. It was shortly after I had realized how much I loved her that she began to realize how power such a word was. She vowed to keep the sanctity of the word and only use it on those she truly loved. With the exception of her current boyfriend at the time she did not love anybody other than her family members.
I still remember the days and nights I would repeat to myself that she would never love a guy like me. I was only an average Joe. I never expected much from her because she was already so amazing. She was funny, smart, talented, but most of all she cared. Cared about someone who no one even notice existed. I must admit, I was somewhat of an outcast in my teens, but who isn't a bit strange growing up? She took the time to figure me out when no one even looked my way and she believed, that there was something there, when even I didn't know there was.
Everything was ok the way it was. I didn't need her to care about me as much as I cared about her. That was physically impossible. But all it takes is one lucky break to change everything. The days past and we got back to our usual selves. I never forgot what she meant to me. It was about a year after, that my summer changed. Nothing truly productive ever comes out of summer for me, except for that time I learned to burp the alphabet. We just so happened to be talking online that one faithful summer night, and she sprung up on me. She told me that she appreciated how much I cared about her, my kindness, my forgiveness, my love. After four years, she had learned to love me.
I still remember the feeling of being completely happy with everything in the universe. I was 19 at the time and that exact moment, was what I had lived for. Joy isn't measured by money or time. Joy can come in many shapes and forms. But the greatest joy of all is love. She only loved me as a friend and we continued to stay friends but at that moment, I had achieved something I never thought was possible. The most meaningful thing I had ever done had appeared before me. If anybody ever asks me what joy is, her name was....
